In this new blog, I have carved words on how journeying through places taught me that life is bigger than the scars on my face and made me realise that I’m beautiful too.
The most uncomfortable situation in life could be not being comfortable in our own skin.
I was happy with my skin until I realised that I was growing up and started observing small acne on my face. After some time, I again got comfortable in my skin until I started receiving comments on acne – ‘ pimples aa rahe hain’ (pimples have increased); ’23-24 years ki umar mein band ho jayenge’ (they’ll stop after you reach 23 or 24 years of age); ‘haldi-besan lagaya karo’ (use turmeric and gram flour to wash your face). These are just a few comments (not even one-third) that I received from people around me – friends, relatives, family, and even strangers who claimed to be experts in this field.
I again tried getting comfortable in my skin but people around me never let me be at peace.
I started receiving suggestions on what I could do to make things better. That fact is that I was growing up and everything I was experiencing was a natural process. However, it felt like maybe I was to be blamed for the acne on my face – as if I intentionally let it rest on my face.
Nothing seemed to have worked on me. However, I realised that every person is different and what suits one person may not be the best solution for another. I also realised that by maintaining a healthy lifestyle and hygiene, our minds and bodies can ameliorate and function beautifully. Acne can have profound social and psychological effects. Even mild acne can be significantly disabling. However, many studies have shown that meditation can reduce anxiety and improve one’s sense of well-being.
I still get conscious about my face and scars but my journeys across places and meeting people from diverse cultural backgrounds made me acknowledge that I’m beautiful. I realise very well now that life is bigger than the scars on my face.
Travelling can have a profound impact on our perception of beauty, both in terms of the external world and our internal selves. Travel exposes us to different cultures, landscapes, and people. Experiencing this diversity helps us appreciate beauty in various forms, breaking down narrow definitions of attractiveness.
Here are the three reflections that I will share with you and these reflections make more sense to people, especially young girls and boys) who may understand and acknowledge ‘beauty’ in a very linear way.
1. Beauty is a very subjective term
-minimal is beautiful
-makeup is beautiful
-modern is beautiful
-retro is beautiful
-black is beautiful
-white is beautiful
–a face without acne is beautiful
-a face with acne is beautiful too!
While in North India, women usually pierce a nosepin on the left side of their nose, in South India, it’s on the right side. Many tribes in remote villages and the countryside pierce both sides of their nose. While a tattoo on the face may look attractive and pleasing to some, it may be a disaster for others.
As there’s a saying – beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, it is clear that the perception of beauty is different for different people.
Often, this perception of beauty is also shaped by the culture we’re brought up in or are surrounded by. Culture plays a vital role in shaping our ideas around beauty.
2. Beauty is strongly shaped by the culture we live in
Being tall, fair, slender, and spotless skin has become the gold standard for beauty. Different cultures have used their own indigenous resources, cosmetics, and tools to look attractive and beautiful. For instance, in India, the majority of girls and women use fuller’s earth (Multani mitti), turmeric, and gram flour to keep their skin glowing and beautiful. Bindis and bangles are just an addition to looking more alluring and charming.
Cultures across the globe have developed their own ideas of looking beautiful. For instance – lip plates are used by some African tribes — young girls use round wood or clay trays and place them between the lower lip and gums for years together. These plates keep getting larger with time and the lower lip is elongated as a result of it. (Source)
The Kayapo people of the Amazon used piercings, tattoos, and different hairstyles to distinguish social classes and age and woo their potential mates.
In China, young girls, especially those belonging to the upper class would get their feet tightly and painfully bound, folding the bones, breaking them, and permanently stunting their growth. This indeed was considered beautiful too.
Clearly, when culture, societies, and communities change, so does our perception of beauty.
3. Beauty has no gender
When it comes to beautification and looking ‘good’, men too like to take care of how they look. The male beauty industry is now moving ‘beyond’ basic grooming. Skincare and beauty concerns are equally becoming important to both men and women. Basic hygiene doesn’t discriminate between genders and there is a growing acceptance that men feel the need to wear makeup and look attractive. However, even though men may adopt all standards and tools of beautifying themselves, they hardly would prefer to be called ‘beautiful’.
I’ve seen survivors of acid attacks, road accident survivors, and people with acne, vitiligo and other skin conditions. Since the face, hands or legs are the first thing that people usually see in others, it is not wrong to say, at least from my personal experiences, that any mark on the face may cause discomfort or become a reason for anxiety and self-doubts. This further impacts our mental well-being.
However, feeling such a way is normal and it’s always helpful to acknowledge how we’re feeling about ourselves. It is only after this acknowledgement that we can normalise the skin conditions we may have and get comfortable with the way we are or appear.
Travelling across different communities and cultures, I’ve understood that there is always someone who admires the way we are or the way we look. There is surely no one way of defining what beautiful means. It, therefore, becomes imperative to smash away the junk notions of being fair and lovely!
Travel has the potential to broaden our perspectives, challenge societal norms and encourage self-reflection, all of which contribute to a greater appreciation of our beauty. It has allowed me to see beauty in diversity, both externally and internally, fostering a positive and inclusive self-perception.
I’m trying to love myself more about the way I look, how much are you in love with yourself?
If you liked this blog, you may also enjoy reading Body Positivity and Mental Well-being
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